Feeling Awkward

[Mandah]

I've been away for a loooong time, it almost seems like forever. At first it didn't seem like such a big deal to constantly post new chapters and then new chapters became casual chapters and then that became non existent. I haven't completely disappeared, just lurked within the shadows. Mostly keeping up to date with new stories on AC or other sites. In return it's been making me feel guilty as a writer that I haven't contributed a single thing in years. All my stories there are unposted chapters, there are new stories written but nothing sees the light of day past my folder. I don't understand why I can't it. It's almost like pissing off your best friend and then having to see them in school the next day, that awkward guilty 'you know what you should do' feeling but you don't act on it. I had been so busy for the last few years and now not so much anymore and I find myself wanting to jump back in.

I can blame it on reading such good stories lately, especially Pengi's 'The Time Watcher'. I can blame it on seeing the boys perform in AC with my best friend who had never been to a concert and we pretty much felt like 12 again. I just feel like I should go back to writing my stories.

Has anyone, whose ever taken a long hiatus ever felt this way? I know a lot of good authors that go through the process but they end up never making it back.

~Mandah

[Julie]

Aww... you should try to jump back in then!

I can't say I speak from experience; I have never taken much of a hiatus from writing. I may go a few weeks without writing anything when I'm busy, but it's never been a conscious decision to stop. My biggest guilt is over individual stories I have that are on the path to never being finished.

But there are so many writers who do go on hiatus and never come back, I think it's good that you're here and even thinking about coming back. I love to see the old-school writers come back! I don't think you should pressure yourself, but maybe just start with posting the chapters you have finished but not posted, and see where that takes you. I know for me, feedback does a lot to motivate me, so maybe that would be the boost you need to get back to writing more.

Good luck!

[mare]

I know exaclty how you're feeling Mandah. The last time I wrote anything was about two years ago. I'm not sure what happened exaclty, but suddenly writing had stopped being fun for me and felt more like homework. Instead of enjoying the creative process I was actually dreading having to update stories. I felt like if I didn't update at a certain time all my readers would be disappointed. I also felt my love of the fandom waning a bit as well once Kevin had left.

On and off for the past year, I would actually open up word, geta few sentences or even a page or two written of something and then convince myself to stop. It's almost like I was afriad to write again.

I am still at that place now, where i'm second guessing everything i'm writing. It sucks to feel so out of practice but I have been working on two things and haven't given up on either of them yet. I guess my advice to you would be just to write and don't be afriad to post what you come up with. Like Julie said, sometimes all you need is that push and some nice feedback is always a good place to start!

Good luck!

[simplesue]

Been there myself. I started writing a couple of years ago after a seven year hiatus. I don't really remember the reasons why I stopped but I do have my best friend to thank for a lot of encouragement back to what I love doing. I guess I can't say it was a complete hiatus but I only wrote like one short story in that seven years so......anyhoo, just take your time and it'll come back . One piece of advice, write because you want to, not because you feel you owe it to your readers. They'll still be there if they really enjoy your stories.

[Carter-Orange]

Not really much else I can add to what's already been said, but good luck!

[Mandah]

Thank you guys so much for the responses. I think the best advice and thing to do is to post the unposted chapeeters first to break the ice. Mainly for ABMB and Color My World. With ABMB I have a thorough outline from beginning to end. I had started to revise the story since I first wrote it at the beginning of high school, so there are some grammar errors that needed to be fixed. I think that's where my hiatus started to get longer because I got bored with revising it. But I want it to have a proper ending. The debatable part is will I post the sequel. Lol yes in the mix I was working on that as well.

Then there are other stories I have no idea where o go with! I keep changing my mind and rewriting parts over. Particularly Days if Thunder and the sequel to YHTTM. Those two make me feel like my head is the Hogwarts staircase hall.